When people expected you to achieve something, you don't know whether to be flattered or nervous or scared. It's a mix feeling. But for me sometimes it can lead to a real pressure. Especially when you don't actually achieve them. Kinda embarrassing and sad. A drop of tear might accompany the frustration.
I experienced this kind of feelings as early as seven years old. People expect me to get great results. When I enter any competition, they expect me to win. Then, get flying colours in big exams. "Alaaa, lainlah awak, awak sure dapat result ok nya." "Awak takpe, mesti ok nya result nanti". Later, I was expected to be accepted by any boarding school. Then a good university. Then get a good job. In between they expected me to have a partner. "Eh, takkan takde lagi kot. Tipulah." Hmmm. Scary movie jugak lah. Hehe.
Anyway, despite of feeling pressure and nervous and all, when I look at another view, I can see all those expectations actually some kind of encouragement, support me all the way to be a better person. To improve myself. Both duniawi and akhrawi. So, when I fail to reach people expectation or my own wish/hope, a little upset of course (sure ke a little. hehe) but thinking of all other gifts that Allah gave to me, which is uncountable, it helps to cure the sadness, encourage to be more patient and most of all, Alhamdulillah, be thankful to Allah. Terima kasih Ya Allah atas segala anugerah yang engkau curahkan ke atas hambaMu ini.
*Waiting for another shot. Hope to be under shortlisted. :)
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
CNY & Bowling
Menghitung hari, Detik Demi Detik.. Rabu, Khamis, Jumaat, Sabtu, 4 days to go. Cepatlah Sunday. Few asked why Sunday not Friday ke Saturday ke. Ermm..Actually memang nak balik awal but tak sampai hati nak keluarkan extra RM 200 for ticket. Huhu. Terpaksalah balik lambat sikit.
Tak sabar nya nak bercuti kat kampung. Pastu nak ajak ayah teman training bowling. Kata ada bowling competition on 20th Feb ni. Ingat last time training for the same competition few years back. After gi makan2 kat dusun Sems, terus gi training. Semangat betul. Tapi asyik aim ke longkang je. Haha. This time apart from ayah n emi, I have another sifu to coach me but so far no progress yet. That's ok. Kalau tak sempat, kat Kedah, training abis abisan lah. Yo o je. Sekali lepak kat tasik, tgk movie (kat rumah using projector like last time), reading novels je. Haha. We'll see.
Eh lupa pulak. For those yang would love to see a dolphin plus try to touch them should try to go to dolphin exhibition kat next to new wing at Sunway Piramid. Adult RM 50 but if you spent at Sunway Piramid you got a discount of 30%. If you're not spending anything but you have my kad, you got 20% off. If I'm not mistaken, to take pic with the cute dolphins, you need to pay extra RM 15. Well, since one of my dream is to touch a dolphin, I think I'm going there soon. InsyaAllah. The show will end on 31 March 2010. Sempat lagi guys ;)
Last weekend, since tak jadi main bowling n gi tgk dolphin, I managed to do some shopping which I wished to do for quite some time. I went shopping with Along. Just the two of us. Dah lama kitorg tak keluar sama. Kewl jugaklah :). I managed to get a new pair of work shoes. Along lak bought Isyia nye swimming suit. So the next day, us three went to swim. Isyia apa lagi. Happy lah! But we cab't rendam her lama2 dlm air. So, about half an hour je we all main air. Later that evening, me and Along time again went to fix our hair. Last time we got a bad hair cut from this kedai. So, we went to our usual kedai to repair balik. Note: Next time, pegi jer kedai yg dah biasa pegi even though if its a little bit far. Huhu.
Okies till next time. Goooooooooo Bowling. Haha.
Tak sabar nya nak bercuti kat kampung. Pastu nak ajak ayah teman training bowling. Kata ada bowling competition on 20th Feb ni. Ingat last time training for the same competition few years back. After gi makan2 kat dusun Sems, terus gi training. Semangat betul. Tapi asyik aim ke longkang je. Haha. This time apart from ayah n emi, I have another sifu to coach me but so far no progress yet. That's ok. Kalau tak sempat, kat Kedah, training abis abisan lah. Yo o je. Sekali lepak kat tasik, tgk movie (kat rumah using projector like last time), reading novels je. Haha. We'll see.
Eh lupa pulak. For those yang would love to see a dolphin plus try to touch them should try to go to dolphin exhibition kat next to new wing at Sunway Piramid. Adult RM 50 but if you spent at Sunway Piramid you got a discount of 30%. If you're not spending anything but you have my kad, you got 20% off. If I'm not mistaken, to take pic with the cute dolphins, you need to pay extra RM 15. Well, since one of my dream is to touch a dolphin, I think I'm going there soon. InsyaAllah. The show will end on 31 March 2010. Sempat lagi guys ;)
Last weekend, since tak jadi main bowling n gi tgk dolphin, I managed to do some shopping which I wished to do for quite some time. I went shopping with Along. Just the two of us. Dah lama kitorg tak keluar sama. Kewl jugaklah :). I managed to get a new pair of work shoes. Along lak bought Isyia nye swimming suit. So the next day, us three went to swim. Isyia apa lagi. Happy lah! But we cab't rendam her lama2 dlm air. So, about half an hour je we all main air. Later that evening, me and Along time again went to fix our hair. Last time we got a bad hair cut from this kedai. So, we went to our usual kedai to repair balik. Note: Next time, pegi jer kedai yg dah biasa pegi even though if its a little bit far. Huhu.
Okies till next time. Goooooooooo Bowling. Haha.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Pening
This morning, bangun je tadi kepala terasa pening. (not sure pening kepala or sakit kepala same like cannot differentiate senak n sakit perut). Yang pasti my head rasa macam ada something block. Sebelah kanan especially. Been up for two hours now and the headache tak nak hilang. Is it because the way I woke up i.e. too sudden. Or is it pasal masuk angin? Ntah lah. But cepatlah hilang. Huhu. Panadol? Macam tak best je.
Monday, February 1, 2010
-No Title-
1st Feb 2010. I managed to do it as plan. Now all I have to do is to wait for the reply and pray for the best. I know I have to deal with this now or later. Bismillahitawakaltu'alallah.
Monday, January 25, 2010
aVaTaR
"Hang dah tgk Avatar? Best oo. Pi lah tgk" my friend said to me one day (which I think dah quite some time jugak).
Finally, last Sunday, after breakfast, me and my friend went to Pavilion to watch Avatar (3D). You're sure right my friend. Memang best :D. Since I can watch Lord of The Ring & Harry Porter, so I did enjoy Avatar very much. Quite touching when come to war part. Suddenly it reminds me of the real war our brothers and sisters are in right now in Palestine.
After prayer, we have our lunch at Rasa Sayang (I think somewhere in Ampang. My friends know how "good" I am with directions and all. haha). We met our uni friend yang ajak us to lunch there. The food ok lah. Not bad. I have creamy fish and soup. Opposite the restaurant ada one cafe. Cute design dia. It's called Full House. Maybe next time boleh try.
Before I went home singgah at a Mall kejap to buy Along's birthday present this Saturday. Got her a nice birthday card too. Rasa macam Along will terharu jer reading card. Haha. Perasan betul.
Okies. Till the next entry. Oh ya lupa lak.Our Teambuilding at Tekam, Pahang. Here it goes:
Teambuilding this time was very challenging.
Coz, this is my first time ever building a raft, rowing them using hands (since the paddles were limited), and about 20 meters away from the tebing, we all have to turun the raft and bring it back to the place we started it. The hardest part was since when we turun, we can't touch our feet to the ground of the lake, so sangat panic. Luckily ada life jacket. After everybody managed to calm down, kitorang try to swim while carried the heavy raft. Alhamdulillah, even though we felt like forever swimming to the shore, we managed to get second place without tearing our raft apart. That was FUN!.
Then flying fox pun I never try. I'm quite gayat actually. Rollercoaster pun tak berani naik. Haha. Masa naik tangga to get to the top, I think I felt my legs shaking. Bila dah sampai atas, luckily the instructor tak give me a chance to think, just guide me to hold the rope, asked me to sit down and and slowly move forward and wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee, I'm Flying Without Wings. Haha. Best!!!
Masa jungle tracking and caving tu, best jugak with the treasure hunt. Seronok time I managed to spot the sepak takraw hiding/hanging on a tree (we supposed to collect certain things). Kak Lin (one of our team members) tolong goyang the pokok, I sambut the bola.
Hehe. Masuk gua agak mencabar but not as mencabar as Gua Tempurung. Been there masa college dulu with homeroom mates.
Overall, I think the teambuilding was a success. One of the staffs say it so. Alhamdulillah. :D
Okies. Now I can say, till the next entry. Jya ne.
Finally, last Sunday, after breakfast, me and my friend went to Pavilion to watch Avatar (3D). You're sure right my friend. Memang best :D. Since I can watch Lord of The Ring & Harry Porter, so I did enjoy Avatar very much. Quite touching when come to war part. Suddenly it reminds me of the real war our brothers and sisters are in right now in Palestine.
After prayer, we have our lunch at Rasa Sayang (I think somewhere in Ampang. My friends know how "good" I am with directions and all. haha). We met our uni friend yang ajak us to lunch there. The food ok lah. Not bad. I have creamy fish and soup. Opposite the restaurant ada one cafe. Cute design dia. It's called Full House. Maybe next time boleh try.
Before I went home singgah at a Mall kejap to buy Along's birthday present this Saturday. Got her a nice birthday card too. Rasa macam Along will terharu jer reading card. Haha. Perasan betul.
Okies. Till the next entry. Oh ya lupa lak.Our Teambuilding at Tekam, Pahang. Here it goes:
Teambuilding this time was very challenging.
Coz, this is my first time ever building a raft, rowing them using hands (since the paddles were limited), and about 20 meters away from the tebing, we all have to turun the raft and bring it back to the place we started it. The hardest part was since when we turun, we can't touch our feet to the ground of the lake, so sangat panic. Luckily ada life jacket. After everybody managed to calm down, kitorang try to swim while carried the heavy raft. Alhamdulillah, even though we felt like forever swimming to the shore, we managed to get second place without tearing our raft apart. That was FUN!.
Then flying fox pun I never try. I'm quite gayat actually. Rollercoaster pun tak berani naik. Haha. Masa naik tangga to get to the top, I think I felt my legs shaking. Bila dah sampai atas, luckily the instructor tak give me a chance to think, just guide me to hold the rope, asked me to sit down and and slowly move forward and wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee, I'm Flying Without Wings. Haha. Best!!!
Masa jungle tracking and caving tu, best jugak with the treasure hunt. Seronok time I managed to spot the sepak takraw hiding/hanging on a tree (we supposed to collect certain things). Kak Lin (one of our team members) tolong goyang the pokok, I sambut the bola.
Hehe. Masuk gua agak mencabar but not as mencabar as Gua Tempurung. Been there masa college dulu with homeroom mates.
Overall, I think the teambuilding was a success. One of the staffs say it so. Alhamdulillah. :D
Okies. Now I can say, till the next entry. Jya ne.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Panggilan...
I've read my friend's blog about death. Like we all know, kematian is sesuatu yang pasti. No matter how we put our mind aside or hold to think about it, it will surely happen. Sometimes, secara sengaja or not, kita mudah terlupa pada kematian and bersuka ria secara berlebihan. Tak salah if we want to enjoy our life as long as tak menyalahi apa yang digariskan oleh Allah. "Bekerjalah kamu seperti kamu akan hidup seratus tahun dan beribadatlah kamu seperti tiada lagi esok untukmu".
Yesterday, I supposed to have dinner with my friend. Suddenly my friend got a call saying that Tok Wa has passed away. My friend and family fly back to Kedah to see her for the last time before dikebumikan. That's situation awaken me to call my grandma. I love my grandma very much but I seldom call her or visit her. When I went back home, I only have time to visit her for very short while (say at most half an hour). When I want to call and couldn't find a topic, I just postponed it. Sometimes I just got too busy that didn't call at all. When I call yesterday, she asking me will I come back on Chinese New Year. I said most ticket has been sold out. And the remaining is quite expensive. Tak sempat I want to continue my sentence she said "Kalau ticket habis tak payah balik lah. Mahal pulak tu. Cuti dua hari ja." Cepat2 I added up. InsyaAllah, kalau dapat ticket nanti kak ngah balik. Ada tu. Later she asked about marriage. I told her to pray. And she asked "To pray? To pray nenek sempat tgk kak ngah bertunang ya?". Sayu dengar nenek nya statement. I made a decision, apart from calling ayah back home, I will make a frequent phone call to nenek as even though she knew that I love her, but by calling her time to time, she will be certain ed about it.
As for my own reminder, I will try to improve myself to be a better Muslimat (ultimate glory). I dream to brush up my knowledge in Fardhu Ain & Kifayah by attending classes, but yet to realise. InsyaAllah, one day I will. Together with my friends and family.
Yesterday, I supposed to have dinner with my friend. Suddenly my friend got a call saying that Tok Wa has passed away. My friend and family fly back to Kedah to see her for the last time before dikebumikan. That's situation awaken me to call my grandma. I love my grandma very much but I seldom call her or visit her. When I went back home, I only have time to visit her for very short while (say at most half an hour). When I want to call and couldn't find a topic, I just postponed it. Sometimes I just got too busy that didn't call at all. When I call yesterday, she asking me will I come back on Chinese New Year. I said most ticket has been sold out. And the remaining is quite expensive. Tak sempat I want to continue my sentence she said "Kalau ticket habis tak payah balik lah. Mahal pulak tu. Cuti dua hari ja." Cepat2 I added up. InsyaAllah, kalau dapat ticket nanti kak ngah balik. Ada tu. Later she asked about marriage. I told her to pray. And she asked "To pray? To pray nenek sempat tgk kak ngah bertunang ya?". Sayu dengar nenek nya statement. I made a decision, apart from calling ayah back home, I will make a frequent phone call to nenek as even though she knew that I love her, but by calling her time to time, she will be certain ed about it.
As for my own reminder, I will try to improve myself to be a better Muslimat (ultimate glory). I dream to brush up my knowledge in Fardhu Ain & Kifayah by attending classes, but yet to realise. InsyaAllah, one day I will. Together with my friends and family.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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