When people expected you to achieve something, you don't know whether to be flattered or nervous or scared. It's a mix feeling. But for me sometimes it can lead to a real pressure. Especially when you don't actually achieve them. Kinda embarrassing and sad. A drop of tear might accompany the frustration.
I experienced this kind of feelings as early as seven years old. People expect me to get great results. When I enter any competition, they expect me to win. Then, get flying colours in big exams. "Alaaa, lainlah awak, awak sure dapat result ok nya." "Awak takpe, mesti ok nya result nanti". Later, I was expected to be accepted by any boarding school. Then a good university. Then get a good job. In between they expected me to have a partner. "Eh, takkan takde lagi kot. Tipulah." Hmmm. Scary movie jugak lah. Hehe.
Anyway, despite of feeling pressure and nervous and all, when I look at another view, I can see all those expectations actually some kind of encouragement, support me all the way to be a better person. To improve myself. Both duniawi and akhrawi. So, when I fail to reach people expectation or my own wish/hope, a little upset of course (sure ke a little. hehe) but thinking of all other gifts that Allah gave to me, which is uncountable, it helps to cure the sadness, encourage to be more patient and most of all, Alhamdulillah, be thankful to Allah. Terima kasih Ya Allah atas segala anugerah yang engkau curahkan ke atas hambaMu ini.
*Waiting for another shot. Hope to be under shortlisted. :)
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